James 3:2
In many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, able also to bridle the whole body.
But:
James 1:26
If anyone thinks himself to be religious, and yet does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this man's religion is worthless.
Because:
James 3:6
The tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of Nature; and it is set on fire of Hell!
This is a common problem among all of us. We use our tongues in ways that are good and bad, encouraging and condemning. We are so quick to use our tongues without even thinking first, on automatic.
Our words pour out what is overflowing in our hearts, and what's in our hearts is put there by our attitudes, formed by our beliefs. Do we believe that our hearers have worth, that they deserve our respect? Sometimes our words deny that.
Then we set on fire someone's self-worth or a situation, to destroy and decimate the good creation God made. How many of us see ourselves as worthless, because someone we respected told us so when we were children?
How many situations spun out of control because of the hatred spewed forth?
Our words have great power, because God made us in His own image, and His Word is Creative. So our words can also be creative, or destructive.
That's why we need to be very careful to pause and consider the words we are about to speak (or write, or type, or text). If the words that automatically erupt are not beneficial to the hearer, then we need to examine our own hearts to find out what it is we believe, and what our basic attitude is toward that person or situation.
Are we seeing them through God's eyes? Are we valuing them as He has set their worth? Are we aligning our thinking processes with His thoughts for us?
It's not easy. Like James said, if any of us can be perfect in our words, then we can live a perfect life. But that's not possible until we are Resurrected, and our corruptible puts on incorruption, and our mortal puts on immortality (I Corinthians 15:51-56).
So we all need to work on this, continually. I know that I have been aware of this situation for many years, and I have been dealing with this problem every day that I interact with other people all this time. I can't say I've made much headway--I still find it difficult to pause to think in the heat of a passionate exchange.
But that is what is needed for us to consistently build one another up, instead of tearing down.
And we also need to build ourselves up, using God's Truth about us. If we have a diminished self-worth, then we need to re-program our thinking to align with how God thinks of us. He loves us and values us with the highest worth, and when we see ourselves as He sees us, in His mercy and grace, and how He originally designed us to be before Adam sinned; then we will love who He loves, ourselves, and we will love others with His love.
It is said that, "hurt people will hurt people," but people who know their high value will also highly value other people. We all actually do "love others as we love ourselves."
Jesus was giving us a "new commandment" when he told us to love others as He loves us! He loves us more than we can imagine; without limits or conditions--unconditionally. That's how He wants us to love one another!
Even if they have hurt us. Even those who hate us. Even the people who have destroyed everything that was good, when they were supposed to support us, that we depended on and trusted. Those wounds really gouge deep.
That's why we are to forgive as we have been forgiven. Every one of us has done that to our loving Father. And He has loved us anyway, sending His own, precious Son give up everything good to take our place in death, individually, so we can be cleansed of all the filth that stains us, and be forgiven. That's how we are to forgive those who have sinned against us, even grievously.
Then we will have a handle on controlling our tongues. We need to be vigilant and careful and watch ourselves continually, while we still live in our corruptible flesh.
God has given us His Holy Spirit to live in our spirits, to teach us and strengthen us and protect us. Let us avail ourselves of His help, and turn to Him in the midst of temptation in our words.
Even so, come, Lord Jesus!
