To Marry Or Not To Marry?

I Corinthians 7: 25-40

Now concerning virgins I have no command of the Lord, but I give my opinion as one who by the mercy of the Lord is trustworthy.  

We have seen that Paul sometimes gives his own opinions when he doesn't have a direct command from the Lord, and this section is one of those. 

But I think that God had him write these, as an expansion and application of the general principles of the laws, considering the political and sociological condition the people were living in at that time. 

So it also is a good application for us to consider, to guide our thinking.

I think then that this is good in view of the present distress, 

They were under persecution at this time.

that it is good for a man to remain as he is. 

The whole last section dealt with not being concerned with changing your state in life just because you got saved.  

Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be released. Do you not have a wife? Do not seek a wife. 

This is staying in the same situation. 

But if you marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Yet such will have trouble in this life, and I am trying to spare you. 

It's not wrong to want to get married, but it will complicate your life.

But this I say, brethren, the time has been shortened, so that from now on those who have wives should be as though they had none; 
and those who weep, as though they did not weep; and those who rejoice, as though they did not rejoice; and those who buy, as though they did not possess; 
and those who use the World, as though they did not make full use of it; for the form of this World is passing away. 

I'm not sure what all Paul is trying to convey here, but what we do or have in this World is not as important as what we do for the Kingdom. This World is temporary and is passing away, but the Kingdom is permanent and will last forever. 

But I want you to be free from concern. 

This is Paul's main consideration for this whole section. 

One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; 
but one who is married is concerned about the things of the World, how he may please his wife, 
and his interests are divided. 

This makes sense. We don't want our minds to be divided. Having the responsibility of a family can complicate a simple life, and Paul really appreciates being available to serve the Lord freely. 

The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the World, how she may please her husband. 

The same situation is true for a girl or woman. 

This I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote what is appropriate and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord. 

Paul isn't trying to hold them to his standard, but he is trying to show them that it is easier to be devoted to the Lord without all the distractions. 

But if any man thinks that he is acting unbecomingly toward his virgin daughter if she is past her youth and if it must be so, let him do what he wishes, he does not sin; let her marry. 

In Paul's society, the father made the decision whether his daughter would marry. In most societies today we would ask the girl. 

But he who stands firm in his heart, being under no constraint, but has authority over his own will, and has decided this in his own heart, to keep his own virgin daughter, he will do well. 

So if the girl has decided she wants to stay single and can keep herself pure, then she should be commended.

So both he who gives his own virgin daughter in marriage does well, and he who does not give her in marriage will do better. 

So Paul concludes that staying single is better than getting married because it is easier to serve the Lord without all the distractions and complications of having a family. 

A wife is bound as long as her husband lives; but if her husband is dead, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. 

The marriage vow holds "unto death," but if she is a widow, then she has no constraint from marrying another husband, especially if he is also a Christian.

But in my opinion she is happier if she remains as she is; and I think that I also have the Spirit of God.  

Paul here is asserting his opinion and wanting it to be trusted, because, of course, he has the Spirit of God, as all God's children have. And God did have him write these letters which have been included into the cannon of Scripture as God-breathed. 


These are not hard-and-fast rules, but just guidelines to direct our thinking processes. We don't have to automatically assume that every single person needs a spouse, every young girl doesn't have to marry, every single guy doesn't have to be on the prowl looking for satisfaction of his carnal desires.

We can also consider keeping ourselves available to serve the Lord freely as Paul has, but we can also consider marrying if we fall in love. 

Paul said previously that every man and every woman should have their own spouse to avoid fornication. Singleness is not a gift given to every child of God. We are all given different gifts, and if God has shown you that He wants you to serve Him free of all encumbrances, then decide not to look for someone to marry. But if you really want to have a marital relationship, and have fallen in love with someone you are attracted to, then by all means, you should get married. 

There is no Law either forbidding or commanding marriage, it's all up to us. We are free to decide for ourselves. There is no compulsion either way. 

God is good, and He wants us to have everything He planned for us to have and use for His Kingdom and His glory. He has brought some people together to marry so that they can help each other in their serving the Lord. Others He has strengthened to remain single and available to serve Him freely, like Paul. 

O my Father, You are so good to have given us everything we need. Father, You had Paul write his opinions so that we could have guidelines to follow, and not feel compelled into any relationship, but still free to pursue the life You want for each of us, whether to marry or not. 

Please lead us according to Your plan for each of us. Help us and strengthen us to do the things You would have us do, whether with a partner or not. Father, if a partner will help me serve You better, then bring him into my life. Either way, show me where You would have me go and what You would have me do to further Your Kingdom.

O Father, I want everyone to know how much You love them! Show me how to do what I can do in this endeavor. 

And every eye shall see, every knee will bow, and every tongue will confess that Jesus is Lord God Almighty, our sovereign King of the Universe, to the glory of Almighty God the Father!

Even so, come, Lord Jesus!